Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
