I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
