I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
