went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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