I have demons in me.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
