the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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