he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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