I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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