the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
