Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
