we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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