? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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