therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
