OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
