She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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