HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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