I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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