I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
