Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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