If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
