We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize