before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
