"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
