I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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