sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
