he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
