just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
