you guys were way drunker than both of me
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
