So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I'm always down for nudity.
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