No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I love how my cats smell like pot.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
