nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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