She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I will die if light touches me.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
