it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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