Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
