its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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