drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
