Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
