Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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