HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
FUCK WHALES
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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