My girlfriend figured out who you are.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
