You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
