No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
