I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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