I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
babies were throwing up all over the place
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize