Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize