We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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