It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
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