I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize