she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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