Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
