I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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