There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
