Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
we're so committed to being not committed
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
