16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
