a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
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