i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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