Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
