he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
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