i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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