Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
