I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
